an intangible sense of loss.

2009-09-15T14:27:00.003+08:00

Let's start over again
Why can't we start it over again?

Just let us start it over again

And we'll(I'll) be good
This time we'll(I'll) get it...
We'll(I'll) get it right

It's our(my) last chance to forgive ourselves(myself)

Redemption.

2009-07-21T00:29:00.003+08:00

hey hey hey!
it's been a long time since i last posted.
but it's not like anybody cares
since most people are oblivious to the existence this blog o.O
butbutbutbutbutbutbutbut...........
i had a meaningful and fulfilling day today!
went back to nanhua today with smell and kiwi to pass some lame present to lamb.
ended up spending more time with my dance juniors instead.
the feeling of flipping on the thrash mat,hitting the drums and cymbals,coaching my juniors..
WOOOOOOOO SHIOK AH LOL
just had to say i am proud of my juniors and they are such wonderful people.
and i really miss dance a lot now.
all the fun and crazy times i had.
all the injuries i suffered LOLOL
yeah they do have a role in my memories too.
this nostalgic feeling is now overwhelming me noooooo.
dammit.
okay i shall go visit dance more often, even if it meant going back alone ):
lalalalalalala
after that,
we chatted with the ever so LOL Mr Kok, then met benny at clem central for a drink.
thanks mr ng for the wisdom you shared during the 3 hours of stoning hahaha
nanhua is a great place full of great people and memories.
NANHUA HIGH FTW LOL
Hope that all the sec 4s this year would do well for their o levels.
My dance juniors, continue working hard and dont make laoshi vomit blood.
wow,
how long has it been since i felt so tired but really happy at the same time man.
okay okay enough crapping i shall go to bed.
beyyyyyyyyyy

2009-06-26T22:14:00.002+08:00

hey there.
feeling a little down now.
woke up in the morning and the first news i heard was that Michael Jackson is dead.
and i think many don't know about this but i was a fan of MJ.
i watched his videos often and even learnt his dance routines and mimicked his moves.
his death was a great loss to the world.
though many perceive him as a paedophile and a freak,
i thought he was a gift from God;
someone sent by God to heal the world.
it is true that Michael was a little too eccentric and sometimes freaky.
but everybody has their own demons.
it was not about how tainted his soul was,
but how his soul saved others.
his songs were ever so inspirational,
and they bear messages, reminders,
and sometimes the cold, harsh reality that we need to accept.
it us up to us to embrace them and do something about it.
we should heal the world.
and as we danced and sang along to his song,
we would also be inspired and enlightened.
To me he was a great man,
he battled the demons within him and tried to bring light to the world.
He was someone who managed to unite the world,
Something no religion or policy could do.
He reminded us that we should love and cherish those around us.
He, was my hero.
And my inspiration.
This post is a tribute to one of the greatest beings of all time,
The King of Pop,
Micheal Jackson.

Rest in peace, and
May your legacy live on.

2009-06-16T16:04:00.003+08:00

it's been a long time since i last posted something.
anyway, i had a very enjoyable and memorable weekend.
402 FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it seemed eons ago since i last went so crazy and actually enjoyed being crazy.
but right now, i'm emoing.
probably because i miss nanhua and 402 too much.
you guys are a great bunch of people. seriously.
i miss all my teachers too, and i regret not listening during chinese lessons T.T
anyway, for memories' sake, i decided to post this:

路上只我一个人，背着手踱着。这一片天地好像是我的；我也像超出了平常的自己，到了另一世界里。我爱热闹，也爱冷静；爱群居，也爱独处。像今晚上，一个人在这苍茫的月下，什么都可以想，什么都可以不想，便觉是个自由的人。白天里一定要做的事，一定要说的话，现在都可不理。这是独处的妙处，我且受用这无边的荷香月色好了。

i can't believe i actually memorised this whole chunk of chinese characters before.
they look like arabic to me now.
HAHAHA.
sorry bennyyy

2009-06-07T11:25:00.001+08:00

today is the day.
though i feel super weird and have no mood to sing.
i will still do my best (:
best of luck to myself haha

2009-06-05T22:02:00.001+08:00

AHHHHHHHHH
tomorrow is the dayyyy.
wish me luck guys ;)

2009-06-04T23:36:00.003+08:00

waaaa very long never blog le.
been busy lately.
busy doing everything but mugging :D:D:D:D
i love the holidays man HAHA
went to cut and highlight my hair today.
i like the 'final product' very much haha.
and jon's aunt gave me a super super good price.
many many thanks to both jon and his aunt haha.
im gonna swimmm swimmm swimmm until i become more fit LOL
WOOOOOOOOOOO
i love swimming ~~~~~

2009-05-27T00:01:00.003+08:00

ahhhh.
another tough week for me.
just when i thought i could relax a little after enduring all the lecture tests.
more and more tests keep springing up.
on top of that, my group's GPP is a total disaster.
rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
so damn pissed with school.
heng i still got my friends :D
love you guys.
tata~

2009-05-23T00:40:00.002+08:00

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOOOL
im very very very very tired.
what a week man.
so many tests at one go LOL.
but i feel very free and happy nowwww~~~~~
HAHAHAHAH
no link post.
well i have nothing to talk about anyway.
my life is boring o.O
im still contemplating whether to join sg idol or not haha
shit man.
i dont wanna be a clown on tv -.-
but i want to joinnnnnn.
but i dont wanna queue as well.
argh life sucks when there are so many opportunity costs.
LOL WOOOO ECONS
BYEBYEBYEBYEBYEBYEBYBEYBYEBYEBYE HAHAHAHA

2009-05-16T23:45:00.002+08:00

A strangled smile fell from your face
What kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better

But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
and believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

2009-05-10T00:21:00.001+08:00

i'm feeling lost.
confused.
but whatever.
i'm feeling happy for you.
haha.

2009-05-07T16:07:00.003+08:00

I'm slowly getting closure,
I guess it's really over,
I'm finally gettin better.

Now i'm picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.

2009-05-07T00:23:00.002+08:00

heyy.
it's time for me to be emo over my screwed life again.
these few months, life have had its ups and downs.
friends like MCP cheered me up, and were always there for me.
thanks guys.
not forgetting 402 as well,
i miss you all so badly, i can almost break down in tears and weep like a sissy.
but there are some things i must say.
all these while i kept saying 'i love nanhua','i love 402' and all.
and i really do.
but though i may say that,
i want to put this point forward. blatantly.
i MIND the fact that though i try so hard to change,
though i try so hard to be a better person so that people accept me,
i dont think it has made any difference. for some unknown reason.
be it me being too paranoid or what, i dont give a fuck. seriously.
i MIND what people say about me,
and i MIND the fact that most of my efforts have come to naught.

i'm known for being a stubborn 'megalomaniac'
i want 'power'
i always want to prove that im right,
and those who counter, wrong.
i DONT change easily.
but i have been FORCING myself to do so.
because i want to be a better person.
i want people to truly accept me for being who i am.

at this point, it is impossible to say something like, 'i define what i am'
that is just fucking bullshit.
the society defines us, and we ARE what they define us to be.
to someone who killed in the name of revenge,
there was nothing wrong with his doing.
but to the society, this is unacceptable.
and he must be punished. labelled as a criminal.

so many things have happened,
and thru it all, i KNOW that fact more than anything.
so here i am being genuine.
here i am trying to not fake a smile, but REALLY smile.
here i am trying so hard to be contented with life.
here i am, though hopeless, but still hoping,
that people would see me in a different light.
maybe i have not done enough.
maybe i seem fake.
maybe i give the feeling that once people accept me again,
i will revert back to the old me and take advantage of people once again.
and though i want to say that i dont care about all these,
i wont deny the very fact that i do.

i am just wishing that those who were once dear to me would never forget me,
and those whom i love will love me back.
it really doesnt matter if you hate me or not.
because i know i wouldnt hate you.
i've grown sick and tired of those things.
things which serve no other purpose but obsure the reason for my existence.
i live not only for myself, but for others as well.
if not i would have been dead long ago.
and the reason for my existence?
i wish for nothing but people around me to be happy.
so that i have the motivation to be happy as well.
yes i need motivation to be happy,
because i dont have/own anything 'innate' which makes me happy,
apart from my friends.
apart from YOU.
who cares, and reads my blog.

life in nanhua has been of such indescribable significance to me,
though it was only 4 short years.
so i apologize if i have offended you in any way.
i beg on my knees and seek your forgiveness.
and im totally sincere about it.
i really am. i really am. i really am. i really am.
i want to be able to wave to you when i see you on the street,
and you wave back. with a smile.

so let us start all over again;
and let all hatred be gone.
i want to be someone my friends can rely on.

so God, please.
don't let whatever unhappy stuff rob me of my beautiful, perfect memories of Nanhua.
i love you guys.
i love 402- every single classmate, every single subject teacher.
i look forward to seeing you guys again.

P.S. i know some of the stuff dont make sense, but i suck at expressing myself. so do try to understand it anyway LOLOLOL.

TATA~

2009-05-06T21:31:00.003+08:00

busy busy busy!!!!!!!!
well actually i still dont have a cca so im not that busy.
but whatever man LOL neneh
im kinda happy now :D
week 7 is coming to an end.
3 more weeks and i can finally have a good restttt.
though there will be many tests from week 8 onwards,
i guess a positive attitude will help me see through it :D:D:D:D
and the weekend is finally approaching.
cant wait for friday to see jere and gang wooooohoooooo~~~
cant wait for MCP outing on monday too!
hopefully there will be an S19 outing on sunday hahaha
wow my whole weekend will be burnt by entertainment haha
but i dont give a damnnnnnn
i believe in maintaining a healthy mind by having funnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL i dont know what im saying right now.
it probably doesnt make any sense at all.
BUT THAT'S WHAT I AM AND THAT'S WHAT I DO/SAY
okay enough nonsense i shall read my physics notes for tml's pre-lecture test.
hallelujahhhhhhhhhhhh

2009-04-29T00:16:00.003+08:00

hey guys.
actually i have nothing much to post today.
but i just thought that maybe there is a need for myself to be heard.
i was bored, so i went to youtube, and searched nanhua.
amongst the various video results, one caught my attention.
i clicked on the NDP video.
i watched the performance, then i clicked on the rehearsal video.
waves and waves of memories filled my mind.
these memories were one of a kind; all the more beautiful.
for a moment, i felt like dying.
i thought that the 4 years in nanhua were fulfilling enough,
and i dont need to move on because i have lived life to its fullest.
i dont want to have unhappy memories, i only want the good ones.
the ones gathered from the 4 years in nanhua.
maybe that was why i wanted to die for that split second,
to keep my nanhua memories as the only memories i would ever have.

however the current reality serves only to contradict.
the juxtaposition of the past and present limpidly shows how unexpected life can be.
during the NDP period, i had everything.
my best friends, and of course someone very special.
now it seems like i have lost them all.
the subtleties of life never cease to throw me into deep thoughts.
which is the reason why i am always so emo now -.-
but nevertheless, one should look forward to many greater things in life.
though things seem tenebrous,
i believe that as long as i try to believe in life,
good things may come.
and i wouldnt mind waiting as well.
for love, forever is fine. because forever is all i have to offer apart from my heart
haha
anyway, here are the NDP videos found on youtube o.O

OMG 201'06 IS THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE VIDEO HAHAHA

GOOD JOB BY US :D *NOTICE THE LIL GAL SAYING "WA HEN MEI LEH NI KAN" HAHAHA

HAHA I LOVE NANHUA

syf opening 2006 :P good job guys

2009-04-24T22:43:00.004+08:00

YAYYYYYY
went back to nanhua todayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
omg i miss everybody like hell la.
i miss the school a lot too.
stepping into nanhua just gives that special and nostalgic homecoming feeeel~
it just magically removed all the fatigue accumulated after a long day in school o.O
went to attend the ceremony for awhile just to see my dear friends receive their prizes :D
GRATZZZZZZZ!
you guys deserve the prizes for all the hard work put in.
then we went to have a chit chat session with MR NGGGGG
who was obviously slacking at the canteen instead of being in the hall :P LOL
a most fitting teacher for such a slacker class HAHAHA!
not to forget our lovable miss yvonne lim, the paragon of english AK,
the super motherly mrs leuar, the cutest mr wee, the cute+zi high ms saw, the LOL mrs lee o.O and the fatherly ayeooo! didnt get to see ayeo though :(
felt great to wear my nanhua half-u back too LOLOL
oh man i miss the mornings when i woke up early,
donned my uniform proudly, then walked to schooooool.
taking public transport is such a chore and waste of time and money haizzz
after that we went to pizza hut to eatt and all
went home at around 10.30? its a good thing that i stay so near HAHAHA
WHAT A FULFILLING DAY IT WAS FOR ME!!!!!
I LOVE YOU GUYS MAN,402 FTW LOL
I LOVE YOU NANHUA
YOU ALL MADE ME FEEL LIKE LIFE HAS A MEANING AGAINN!
cant wait for the next visit and outing again hehehe B-)))))
okay i dont really know what to blog about le hahaha so
SAYONARAAA

2009-04-14T17:43:00.002+08:00

oh man LOL
i'm sick againnnnn
dont know why i so suay LOL
i have nothing to blog about actually.
just thought that i had to keep my blog alive haha
i hate PW!!!!!!!
i think it's a total waste of my time and life.
like what the hell.
my teacher is super demanding.
i had to redo my PI -.-
hopefully this time she appreciates the effort i put in.
JJ's PW distinction rate is scarily appalling.
im afraid i wouldnt get my A.
prithee, let me get an A for PW!!!
rahhhhhhh
i have not started on my chem or physics tutorial yet.
screw PW -.- waste my time.
whatever manxzxz i shall go do my chem now byebyeeeeee

2009-04-07T23:43:00.002+08:00

heyyy!
it has been quite a while since i last posted.
well i dont really know what to talk about as well.
life has been so mundane and trite.
i am really sick and bored of jc life -.-
it wont be long before i start breaking down ahhhhhhhhh T.T
i have so many tests coming up,
but i have so little time to prepare for them.
i seeeeee a 'tenebrous' future awaiting me LOL
but Good Friday is coming soon and im looking forward to it haha
hopefully i can unwind and relax totally on that dayyyy
DEB YOUR BED IS GOING DOWNNNNN
DERRICK AND I SHALL OWN YOUR BED ONCE AGAIN LOLOL
woooooooooooooooooo
it's time to go sing again B-)
byebyeeeeee

2009-04-01T15:41:00.002+08:00

OH MAN LOL.
im so damn damn damn tired.
i think i should start sleeping earlier.
But anyway,,,,,,,,,,
i have been thinking quite a lot recently.
and i must say i have experienced an epiphany hahahaha
well, nothing lasts forever
nothing stays forever.
the only constant which is constant is change.
a change can be good, or bad.
but it shows that nothing in the real world is perennial.
i should let go when im supposed to.
like they say, '拿得起，放得下'
so, yeah. she's out of my life officially.
i cannot guarantee that i would get over her anytime soon,
but i have decided to wish her happiness,
and maybe attempt to protect her from a distance.
i dont know about that, and it may seem dumb for me to do so.
and though i may not be able to get over her for quite a while,
i still feel that there is no point in waiting anymore,
and that is why i've decided that i should not linger on any longer.
it is time to move onnnnnn~~~
and i know that there are many around me who are currently having similar experiences
well, guys, it is time to move on as well.
we know that as long as we live on, we have many chances ahead B-)
so let us not allow the past to obscure pur vision,
and continue looking forward,
always on the lookout for new chances and opportunities.
life is not a bed of roses, but we do not need that many roses right -.-
having a few is enough.
no wait, im not making sense LOLOLOLOL AIYA HECKKKKK HAHAHAHA
woooooooooooooooooooo im tired i shall go rest hahaha
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexzxzxzxzxzxzzxzasxsxzsxzxsxzs!

2009-03-30T20:21:00.003+08:00

oh man.
didnt do anything over the weekends.
now i owe lots of homework LOL.
and i dont understand why is there a math test tomorrow,
when the teacher only finished going thru the tutorial today.
and i dont know what to blog about also,
because i currently HAVE NO LIFE AT ALLL!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!
stupid jc life.
hate it hate it hate it LOL.
im feeling asphyxiated.
i need to catch a breather.
but the holidays just ended not long ago -.-
HOW AM I EVER GONNA COPE WITH MY SCREWED UP LIFE T_T LOOL!!
RAHHHHHHHHHHHH i want to scream at MOE!!!!!!!!!!!
i want to abolish the whole singapore education system!!!!!!!
AHHHHHH! FORGET IT. LOL.
i think it's better if i stop whining and concentrate on my work.
maybe one day i will OWN MOE hahahahahaha
okay it's time to start skewering the mountainous workload i have alive.
til then, adieu~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-29T13:45:00.004+08:00

Hey guys!
Didnt post for a few days because i was, uh, well i didnt have the mood.
'Stay-home sundays suck _|_' hahaha yeah i agree with you nicky.
And apparently it bores the shit out of me also.
So, i decided to blog. About random stuff.
I dont know why but recently many people around me have been emoing lol.
And i have been emoing too.
But know this well people.
Life is full of ups and downs.
It is how we handle them which makes us different from other emo kids.
There is only a fine line between sadness and happiness,
and we can make ourselves happier if we stop harping on the bad stuff,
and look forward to the good stuff (:
Life will get better, thats for sure.
So let us all cheer up okay! LOL
Thanks to all those who have been listening to my woes and rantings haha.
I will be there for all of you when you need me also B-)
I think i am a great listener because i will never get irritated hahahahaha woooooooo!
Kay its time to mug. I have been lagging behind since eons ago and it has been bothering me for quite a while ): so i gotta do something about it hahaha.

Here's a random video to hopefully cheer you guys up LOL though it isnt some happy happy song or something.

BYEEEEE~

2009-03-26T13:40:00.002+08:00

Hey there! I missed 2 days of school because im sick, yet again -.- and im seriously lagging behind now. But anyway, i decided to post bo liao stuff because im so freaking bored lol. I was looking thru the files in my old comp and found this song by Evanescence: My Immortal. I transferred it to my new comp, listened to it, and guess what! That song made me super emo -.- LOL it's so cool to find old songs which make me feel nostalgic and emo LOL but anyway it's a really cool but sad song. SO, emo kias, you may want to listen to this song when your girlfriend/boyfriend leaves you and start slitting your wrist :D

My Immortal by Evanescence(with lyrics) :

2009-03-23T16:10:00.003+08:00

Hey there! Blogging now since im home early. Omg i really loathe school T.T irritating LOL. I cant believe i got 5.5/10 for my chem test. That was just totally unacceptable for me manxzxz.

Fell asleep only at around 4am last night because there were many things bothering me. Woke up and realized that i had a bad headache. I was kinda worried for the math test but i guess everything turned out quite alright (: . After the physics practical session, i took the early leave form and went home home earlier than the rest to have some rest before i start mugging for chem. FREAKK!!! Why are there so many bloody tests anyway lol we just took one before the term closed! ANYWAYYY, im feeling tired now so i shall have my rest muahahaha. Oh and uh, funjuin sent me this song last nite and i thought that the song lyrics related to me alot, so i shall share the song here hahaha. The title for the song is "Too serious, Too soon". It doesnt have a very nice and smooth melody, but who cares man, the lyrics are nice LOLOL.

2009-03-22T18:54:00.005+08:00

Cool i havent been blogging since friday. Had a really wonderful but tiring weekend. Went back to dance on friday but realized that there was only an unexpectedly small number of people who went back o.O ended up talking to leyi and sam for awhile then left soon because they reached at very lateeee LOL so lame. Made some random friends too hahaha. Then went to cityhall to find 402!!!!!! Ate at xin wang cafe omg walao i still dont think that the food was worth its price LOL. After that we went to chill at esplanade. Arthur Kok joined us too ahahahaha omg super funny. Went back at 11pm but ended up chatting at the clementi coffee shop til 1am. BANG BANG BANG WHO DIE? LOL rubbish. Went out with jere on sat to get my shoes and bag. We were supposed to go to O School to inquire about their lessons but we were a tad too late -.- HAHAHA then jere treated us to ben and jerry's :P :P Todayyyy went to the lib to mug. Did nothing much though. Didnt have the mood to study. Im prepared to do badly for tomorrow's math lecture test. RAHHH!!!!!!!! Im tired so i shall stop blogging and take a nap hehehe B-)

2009-03-20T00:10:00.004+08:00

HEYOOOOOO!!!!!! Quite a boring day today. Woke up at 11am and had nothing to do at all. I was literally was bored to tears T.T THENN jeremiah saved me. He asked me to go mug with him. Went to bukit batok macs to mug with jere and mop at around 3pm. mugmugmug blahblahblah. Then we ate dinner at some weird chinese restaurant at West Mall LOL The wanton was damn damn bloody small omg i swear to god it was 1/3 the size of a ping pong ball -.- rahrahrah! Then took a train arounddddddddddddddd and went home. I had to hold my bladder for the whole ride home LOL it was crappy hahahaha. OKAY. It's a boring post because it's such a boring day today. I will have much more to blog about tomorrow haha. BYEEE~

2009-03-18T23:53:00.001+08:00

Hey there! Im not feeling too good right now lol. I was happy yesterday, but it's the exact reverse today. I should stop hallucinating and dipping into the past; it's time to come back to the present and move on. This fleeting dream has ended. Feeling really emo right now dammit -.- i knew i shouldnt pin any hopes on it anymore. What's impossible is impossible. Soon i will realize that i dont need her and she doesnt need me. Maybe she already doesnt. I dont know. Just wondering how long it will take, and how long this effed up pain will last. Im eager to show the world that i have changed. Im keen to continue improving myself and not do things which i will regret. I really want to prove to her that im no longer the guy i used to be and im the right guy for her. But that will never happen i guess. I will never be given the chance to do so. It wouldnt, it will not, it never will. Seems like the only way i can obtain salvation is by letting go and stepping into the future bravely, and without any burden. That, i aspire to do LOL but for now it's emo emo emo... RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH RUBBISH!!!!! i hate my life. i hate myself. i dont know what to do with myself. nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. OKAY. MOVE ON MATTHEW ROY KOK HOONG JIA LOL! YES I CAN DO IT HAHAHA!!!!!

2009-03-18T01:29:00.000+08:00

YAY super tired but i feel that i should blog! Because im feeling very happy right now! Ethan Matthew Kok Hoong Jia feels like he has grown up!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA WOOOOO!! im crazehhhhhhhhh~~~~ BEBYEBYEBYE LOL HAHAHAHA

2009-03-17T01:03:00.000+08:00

harlow! Nothing much to blog about today. Practically did nothing the whole day omg. Retarded and meaningless day LOL. Woke up at around 1pm. Had lunch blahblah then went to BPP to mug. I did only 1 math question omg LOL. Then mop in a way pangsehed me because he only arrived at 9pm and by that time i was already on the way home. Feeling dejected because i was rejected HAHAHAHAA. wow full of rubbish. I'm too tired to blog le. Stoning the whole day can really suck all the energy in me HAHA byebyeeeeeeeeeeeeexzxz

2009-03-15T22:23:00.000+08:00

heyyyyyoooo~ had a great time yesterday! Thanks guys(mop,jos,zl,kiwi,derrick,sib,kj,hy,fj) for giving me such wonderful memories. Special thanks to sibyl and her dad for booking the hotel room! It was super duper kewlxzxz! Feeling lazy to recall and narrate what we did, but im sure the fun we had together can never be expressed in words~~~ LOL. But upon reaching home this afternoon i felt emooo T.T I dont know why as well. Maybe it was the emoness of the jay chou songs which made me emo too LOOL. Anyway anyway, i like the lyrics of this song by jay chou:

说好的幸福呢

你的绘画凌乱着
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散乱了
情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
伴你断断续续唱着歌
假装没事了
时间过了走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了倦了我哭了
一开始的不快乐
你用卡片拭写着
有些爱只给到这真的懂了
怎麽了你累了说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了
开心与不开心一一叙说着你在不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻我都还记得
你不等了说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着要怎么停呢
怎麽了你累了说好的幸福呢
我懂了不说了爱淡了梦远了
我都还记得
你不等了说好的幸福呢
我错了泪干了放手了后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着要怎么停呢

haiya. dont know whats wrong with me LOL. I just cant seem to let go. I cant seem even dare to love someone anymore. Im afraid of the pain it will cause lol. Omg i feel like shitxzxzxz totally. RAHHHHHHH! emoemoemeomeomoemoemo

2009-03-14T00:41:00.001+08:00

Yayyyy! Had quite a fun time today though i'm still sick o.O Went to Nanhua to collect my O level cert at around 5pm. Played netball and talked to many old schoolmates :D felt a little emo because of XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX but i guess i'm fineee. At least the pain is no longer as intense as before. After that i rushed over to BPP to have dinner with my primary school friends. Then chiong to esplanade to find zhiwei and friendxzxz. Talked alot of cok and made a few new friends LOL omg leyi ultimate stoneface LOLOL. Damn funny. Then continued to chat until like 11.40pm? I and smell missed the last train and cabbed home lol. Omg the midnite surcharge super super ex. Rah! Had a wonderrfullllll and meaningfulllll day today but am very shagged now T.T Gonna sleep soon! Addio~~~

2009-03-11T23:22:00.000+08:00

RAHHHHHHHH. I'm getting very the frustration LOL. I cant do physics! Neither can i do chem! omg omg omg shit. Feeling so stressed now lol. How am i supposed to maintain consistent good work when i'm already dying now. Ahhhhhhhhh! Didn't go to school today because it was e-learning day. Woke up at 8am and started doing assignments online. The chemistry one really very ma fan lol. The econs one.. close 2 eyes also can do? omgwth 5 mcqs only hahahahahahaha dumb. The GP assignment was the only assignment worth doing imo. Then took 184 to BPP macs to study with vivien,mop and laukiwi. Didn't really do much work lol. But i guess it doesn't really matter. Had quite a fun time there LOL. Okay i shall not endeavour to blog super long posts and continue with my physics tutorial lol. I GIVE UP} DON'T GIVE UP! LOOLLL. Mr Oh you rock LOL!

2009-03-10T23:39:00.001+08:00

Heyo!! Feeling super sleepy and lazy to blog now but i shall not give in!! LOL. Had quite a boring tuesday. School ended at 3.30pm and i was too tired to join mop and kiwi at bpp macs to mug. So i decided to take a nap instead but soon my brother woke me up to play mahjong -.- and i lost a few bucks la walao. Totally not worth sacrificing my sleep for mahjong zzz. Okay i shall stop here. Too tired to continueeee. Shall go sleep soon byebye!

2009-03-08T18:54:00.000+08:00

yoyo!
I'm finally blogging properly after eons. This is my first time getting super serious about blogging. Just thought that it would be better to create a blog to update my friends about my life? Anyway, i had quite a meaningful day today. I FINISHED MY ECONS ESSAY HAHAHA. YES! I'm so proud of it! i wrote 4 looong pages :D but ended it abruptly lol. Did the self attempt questions of my chemistry tutorial. Had some problems with it. i regret taking mc on the day when there was a chem lecture T.T Did some math and physics as well, and i felt great! Now i notice the difference between listening and not listening during lessons LOL. 'Squandered' my secondary school days playing, now I'm finally mugging. Feels so weird but nice LOL. Still feeling kinda sad and lost though. Still experiencing that kinda ' devoid of everything ' feeling. But i gotta move on i guess. I must turn the painful past into something which spurs me and not something which ties me down! hooray!!!!!!!! LOL~!

To any of you who hates me: If you fortuitously do find this blog, please do not be childish and slander me right here, because you don't know me at all. I'm making myself very clear on the very first post. hoho i'm letting everyone know im hateful! :O

2009-03-07T23:09:00.001+08:00

test test!